endless grace

A year. It's been a year to the day since we left Haiti. It still feels so ever present in my mind; how could it have really been that long ago? What a handful of gifts and memories God has given me since then, and a heart full of lifelong lessons and promises.

Also:

Positive thoughts from 15 months ago...

Learning to laugh amidst the trials.

Facing trials, but not in vain.

Plenty of amazing sights.

A trip of twists and turns.

Joy in progress and production.

A video of our time living in Haiti.

Reflections a year after arriving in Haiti.


Living in a place you both absolutely love, but are completely battling every minute, will make a lasting impact. Thanks to everyone who has bared with me as I have reflected over this past year. I think I've had to grieve the loss of my time in Haiti. I know I am in a new chapter, but I still feel so connected to this one. It has changed the course of my life. I feel like a totally different person, though it still fills my heart... and I hope to return again another time and give it another go. But I appreciate the patience and understanding as I sift through feelings and continue building and growing.

xoxoxo

faith and connection

I'm one of those read-several-books-at-once types, which could explain why it takes me so long to get through some books. So, although I posted about some good reads just a few weeks ago, I have yet another one to promote :)

Have you ever read Francine Rivers? I know I'm a little late to the game, but I have been eating up her books over the past year. She is a phenomenal writer because she is an amazing story teller. She knows how to set up a story contextually so that no matter who you are or what you've experienced, you can find a way to relate, connect to, and understand the character and their "world."

Her "Mark of the Lion" series might be one of my favorite series I've ever read. The best part is all of her books in some way tell the story of God and His love for His people. There's a deeper meaning to it all, and I am left feeling humbled and connected to Him.

Currently I am reading Lineage of Grace, and spend each morning reading a few pages and drawing close to God through it before I start my day. This book is a compilation of 5 different stories of women in the Bible. They are all women whose stories I have read and heard "x" number of women's devotionals about, but this book is helping me connect with these women- see them as real people, with real thought and feelings, and finally get why they are esteemed throughout scripture for their faith. And I've been filled with a joy and excitement at meeting these women one day in Heaven and becoming friends with them :) A good book is a good thing, but a book that brings me closer to God and my identity in Him is wonderful.




Image Sources: 1. Wheat field // 2. Wayfaring stranger //

a word about these past 3-6-5

I can't believe it, but it was one year ago today that we hopped on a plane to move our lives to Haiti. How can it have already been a year? Time seems to have stopped from June until about this past April, because life as we knew it was so different. Now that it's summer again, I find myself thinking of and missing Haiti almost every day. The heat, the smell of gasoline, the busyness of city dwellers as I walk through the streets- it all awakens glimpses of memories of our every day lives there. I remember so much about each day so perfectly, it doesn't seem that 365 days have already come and gone...

good to wait

So much waiting for us. I've never felt more lack of control in my life than I have this past year. It's a constant cycle of learning to trust in the Father, and to cling to His perfect love and timing. I hope this quotes reaches those who are also in this waiting game.

Some bright flowers for this gloomy day :)

xo

P.S. Some other great "waiting" quotes.

Image Source // 1. C.S. Lewis // 2. Spring Flowers //

have a happy weekend!

In my reading this morning, I stumbled across two thoughts that I am really reflecting on today. The first is in regards to complaining- that we shouldn't complain about anything because He is "the Author of your circumstances" (Sarah Young). No matter what your situation, He has determined it, is in control, and intends to work in it! The second (by William Barclay) is that no one escapes suffering. No one. Everyone knows it in some form. When I feel that I am suffering, I can be so glum and have a "why me" attitude. What a great perspective to realize that in this world, we will all face hardship, and the difference is that you get to choose how you respond to it. So with that, I will leave you with some links from around the web this week. I wish you a happy weekend :)

Can't wait to be this kind of parent someday... :)

What's your birth number? Is it accurate to you?

Lovely for spring.

Starting to get tired of all of this "millennial" talk, but this is an interesting perspective.

Another perspective worth learning.

Will you watch? Think it will be a hit or a flop?

A perfect Friday night.

In case you missed our excitement for the week...

Yum!! Trying this asap.

Makes your heart happy.

xo


Image found here //

He does not abandon

"When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, 'The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.' 'But sir,' Gideon replied, 'if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our fathers told us about when they said, 'Did not the Lord bring us up out of Egypt?' But now the Lord has abandoned us and put us into the hand of Midian.' The Lord turned to him and said, 'Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian's hand. Am I not sending you?'"
                                                                                 Judges 6:12-14

I don't really have a great epiphany, and I'm not really sure what to make of God's response here in regards to my own life. But, I find comfort in Gideon's response. The exact thoughts I've had and words I've prayed, as we have been in this challenging and unstable position for almost a year, now. Not having clear answers or direction, not being in a great situation, not feeling settled. Almost a year of this leads you to wonder "Has God forgotten me?" You know it's not true, but your heart and mind can't help but feel distant and alone. It's reassuring to find scripture that seems to come right from your heart- even if it doesn't give you an answer or solve your problems, there's peace in knowing that you are understood.

When things are going great, or when life seems to constantly hit dead ends and meet closed doors- He is still there. He is still just as involved in your life, even when you're fleeting heart can't sense Him. It's your fear, feelings, and faith that change and move up and down- not Him. He is unchanging, His love is everlasting. He is present, He is intimately and intricately involved.

"Hear my voice when I call, O Lord;
   be merciful to me and answer me.
My heart says of you, 'See his face!'
   Your face, Lord, I will seek.
Do not hide your face from me,
   do not turn your servant away in anger;
   you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
   O God my Savior.
Though my father and mother forsake me,
   The Lord will receive me.
Teach me your way, O Lord;
   lead me in a straight path
   because of my oppressors.
Do not turn me over to my foes,
   for false witnesses rise up against me,
   breathing out violence.

I am still confident of this:
   I will see the goodness of the Lord
   in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
   be strong and take heart
   and wait for the Lord."

     { Psalm 27: 7-14 }


Image found here //

common, daily "life hacks" I didn't do until after college

There are some things that most people figure out pretty early on, that somehow I just missed the memo on. I've always noticed others doing these things, but never thought that they could actually be more efficient and effective! It's that whole "you do your thing, I do my thing" mentality. Once I attempted to do things the way I had always seen them done, I realized there is actually is a reason to all the madness :) So, in case you haven't yet "crossed over," here are 5 simple (very simple, like 'duh everyone does that, why haven't you done that before' simple) things to spruce up your daily routines. 

growth > perfection

The calligraphy practice has finally begun! And I am off to a (very) shaky start... but you've gotta start somewhere, right? I already have two projects underway for a friend getting married in May, so I'm hoping to be a fast learner and to create something pretty for her big day (this is helping me get there!). With this plus my recent furniture reno's, I am feeling super crafty and motivated to try many new things. Pottery classes, videography, instruments... I have all of these ideas for things I'd love to learn. What about you? What are you learning, or what would you like to learn soon? Make a decision to always be learning something new, no matter how small-- make your goal growth, not perfection. Happy Monday!!

xo

light and laughter

"Don't take yourself so seriously. Lighten up and laugh with Me. You have Me on your side, so what are you worried about? I can equip you to do absolutely anything, as long as it is My will."

- Jesus Calling (Sarah Young)

What a great perspective on anxiety- I never would have thought to approach my nerves regarding a certain upcoming situation in this way. Laugh about it. Enter it confidently and securely. God leads the way. You are safe in Him. 

xo

Image found here //

are you a negative person?

Negativity is an interesting thing. It is alluring; we are drawn to it, perhaps because it is easier, or less vulnerable, or it seems less maintenance. It seems unconventional, alternative, and cool. It seems intelligent. Others are drawn towards it, too. It seems to unite people together through humorous sarcasm and confident protest. But it pushes people away, as well… at least, the people you actually would want and need to be around. Negativity is a poor friend, and a poor substitute for joy and satisfaction. It tricks you by trapping you and forcing you to put up walls and harden yourself, and before you know it, it's the only way you can see and understand things, and it closes you off to opportunities to change.

But! What God offers is truly unconventional, because it goes against this natural desire in us all to be critical and closed off. He gives us the opportunity to be reborn to love. To be "cleansed from the essential unforgiving bitterness of the self-centered life" and to have within "something of the forgiving and sacrificial love of God" (William Barclay). Surround yourself with positive thoughts by surrounding yourself both with gratitude, and with positive, uplifting people. Refuse to give in to letting negativity have a place in your life. Are you up for the challenge of allowing yourself to be cleansed from negativity? 

"… give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you…" (1 Thessalonians 5:18). In ALL circumstances. When you're unemployed, when you're employed but hate it, when you're depressed or anxious, when you're lonely, when you're overwhelmed, when you're tired… and it's not just His hope for you, but it is His will. Direct yourself to live in accordance to His will.

"Thank Me for each blessing along the way; this brings joy to both you and Me. A grateful heart protects you from negative thinking. Thankfulness enables you to see the abundance I shower upon you daily." (Jesus Calling)

xo

P.S. Here is a great sermon on positive thinking (#72), and a book that teaches how to have positive thoughts. 

Image found here //

faith continues to rejoice in Him

I read this scripture this morning and felt it connected to yesterday's post. God is our joy, our salvation, our strength, and our hope no matter our circumstance- even when all signs point to loss and discouragement. He is the constant merciful and loving Father. 

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, there there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights." - Habakkuk 3:17-19

xo

Image via here //

an honest look at faith

Faith is frustrating… and honestly, sometimes a little annoying.
I always thought I understood what faith is- believing in something even if you don't have tangible proof for it. However, after this past year, I am starting to see that while this may be part of it, "faith" has a much deeper and more dynamic definition.

His unchanging nature

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." {James 1:17}

My perspective of God and who He is sometimes seems to shift day to day, based on my circumstances or how I do or don't see Him working in my life. One day He seems intricately involved, one day He seems distant. One day He seems full of love and mercy, one day I feel like He's out to get me. It is vital to remember that who He is does not change just because of how you feel, or because of how you see Him (or don't see Him) moving. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8), and He doesn't change (Malachi 3:6). He is always good, always just, always compassionate, always merciful, always sovereign. In all things, always.

Image found here //

guarded by His peace

   

     Recently I have expressed concern that through this time of waiting, my heart feels that it is hardening towards God. The frustration that comes with waiting and not being in control, as well as the fear and doubt in His timing and love, adds up and creates distance between me and my Heavenly Father. I feel vulnerable and therefore want to put up my walls and shut down. I've been praying and asking God to keep my heart soft, for I know that I truly do not want to be separated from Him and His perfect love. It's just hard to feel that in these times. 

     Anyways, all that to say, I read these scriptures this morning and was comforted by the reassurance that His peace (which transcends understanding) will guard my heart from hardening, and I was refocused on Jesus enduring the cross so that I do not have to grow weary in waiting. If you are experiencing a challenging or frustrating situation, I hope these words speak to you as well. 

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
                                                                                                     Philippians 4:6-7

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
                                                                                                     Hebrews 12:2

xo

Top Image found here // 

rethinking your strength

Ever heard the phrase, "God won't give you more than you can handle"? I stumbled across this blog post yesterday and wanted to share it- the writer disagrees with this common offer of reassurance, as it is to be found nowhere in scripture. (The scripture this phrase stems from is in the context of sin and temptation, not of sorrow and heartbreak.) It's surprisingly comforting to discover, yes, He sure will give you more than you can handle- it's in these times that our strength truly comes from Him. What do you think about this perspective?

Follow the link here to read more: "God will give you more than you can handle: I guarantee it."

(Photo of Lake Michigan sent to me yesterday by a friend visiting home in Chicago!)

are you empathetic?

Have you seen this video describing the difference between empathy and sympathy?

I can find myself frustrated with my almost overwhelming ability to be empathetic, because it leaves me feeling stuck right next to the person, totally unknowing what to say to "make it better." I just feel it with them, and I think, "Surely this is getting them nowhere! This must be making it worse, adding to this pile of feelings!" But I absolutely love the last thing she says, because it totally puts it all into a much more truthful perspective.  I am excited now to grow in my empathy ability :)

 "Rarely can a response make something better. What makes something better is connection."

xo

a time to be still and a time to move forward

"The Lord our God said to us at Horeb, 'You have stayed long enough at this mountain. Break camp and advance into the hill country…'" {Deuteronomy 1:6-7}

"'You have made your way around this hill country long enough; now turn north…'"

{Deuteronomy 2:3}

How did He know when it had been "long enough"? What made Him decide? I'm not sure the reason, or if there really is one.
But He hadn't forgotten them.
He knows when enough is enough, and He will give direction when "it's" been enough.

 Let me be faithful to and trusting in You, and not to myself or in my circumstances.

Image //

the shepherd and the sheep

"Then I said to you, 'Do not be terrified, do not be afraid of them. The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the desert. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place.'
 In spite of this, you did not trust in the Lord your God, who went ahead of you on your journey, in fire by night and in a cloud by day, to search out places for you to camp and to show you the way you should go."

                        -Deuteronomy 1:29-33

He goes before you.

He fights for you.

He's done it before.

He's pulled you out of slavery and desolation.

You've seen it.

He carries you lovingly. 

He carries you to where you need to go.

He goes ahead of you.

He searches for you, and finds where you should go.

He shows you the way to get there. 

Image found here //

learning to follow

I guess I have some catching up to do! My every day blogging has come to an extreme halt since arriving back to the U.S. As a result, my writing juices have suffered- I'm struggling to find the right words to describe what our journey has come to so far. We have had a great time catching up with friends and family, though we definitely have some updates. For those who don't know yet...

how is that spelled?

I am still surprised when I have heard and said the name of a city in Haiti several times and see it spelled for the first time. It is almost always spelled so different than how I pictured it in my head! I think how it sounds must be how it's spelled, forgetting that this is French and French has all kinds of random letters they like to throw in there :)

For example, what I thought, because of how it is pronounced, was "La Cay" is actually "Les Cayes." For years I have referred to a town we visited on our first trip and spelled it as "Quadabouque," but really it is "Croix-de-Bouquets." Ha! And then there's Anse-a-Pitres (which I have been referring to a lot recently), that when I first heard it, imagined it as "Ansapeid."Also, what I thought was "Gontye" (and confused with the popular band, Gotye..) is actually "Ganthier."

One of the best ones so far, though, is "Chote"... which is actually spelled "Thiotte." I might need to stick to Spanish...


P.S. A parody of pronunciation videos.